Having my own place. Buying my own flowers.

This is a bit of a jelssie post, or sort of comparing to many of my jelssie-days ideals. The things I've been pondering.

It's taken a while to appreciate all the lifestyle change of leaving Sydney. I have this frugal minimalist thing of having only as much as I need. Now I have more (space) than I need, but I have been able to share it. And I've needed to share and therefor had to get more things. This is mainly due to in Sydney I did stuff out, and in Maitland we do stuff in our houses. Out is too expensive and In is no longer prohibited by tiny spaces. In Randwick I sometimes had people sleep over before flights or after late nights, on either a fold-up stretcher or a makeshift bed of sofa cushions, on either my bedroom floor or in the living room. I sometimes had one person over for dinner. I've had more people in my house in just a few months than I probably had in my entire time in Sydney. Which is great. So I'm trying not to mind getting more stuff.

I decided to celebrate my anti-frugal-minimalism by buying a table. I've been looking in op shops, and sticking my name on old tables at my grandparents, but I decided to go all out and do what other people do, which is, go to a shop, look at a bunch of different brand new tables, and buy one.

http://www.1825interiors.com.au/products/dining/dining-tables/tuscan-small-extension-table/

I like the white/wood combo look because my current furniture is a mix of some painted white and some wood, (and temporarily some cardboard boxes and some pallets) so I think this will tie it together a bit. I'm not buying any chairs at this stage, I've got a bunch of mismatched chairs (white and wood) and some IKEA stools. Also it's an extension table. So it's still a pretty efficient, minimalist decision, but hey, I bought something brand new! When I get it I might dismantle my cardboard box and plank desk and use the table as a drawing desk... but the cardboard and plank desk is cool. 

My house has a pretty good vibe. Shower girls commented on it and that made me appreciate that it does feel like home now. I've got bohemian arty Girl of Slender Means things like my photo wall, and paintings not hung up leaning against walls, and my cardboard and plank desk, but I've also got lots of clean empty space, windows that I can see out of, my bedroom no longer has so much stuff in it because 2 pieces of furniture can fit in other rooms where they really belong anyway, so it just has my bed, dresser, and bedside table. I have the luxury of a spare room in which to throw everything I don't want to think about. There are things I'd change one day, in 5 years, 10 years, God-willing, like the white tiled floors that show all the hair, and the beige walls that I'd prefer were green. But everything is new and clean so I can't justify the investment at this stage, I will just anticipate. But in the meantime I don't care about wear and tear on things, because I'm not attached to the beige and the tiles, so that's also good.

My thing for 2015, if I get my job, will be a garden. Currently a rectangle of lawn with 2 small flower beds, 2 different coloured colourbond fences, an airconditioning unit, and a washing line. I've got a vision for a gardeny courtyard, and I'll pay some landscapers to make it happen.

I've been away a lot in Jan. I've been able to take advantage of cheaper petrol in Sydney every single weekend. Which is to say, I'm not very excited to be thinking about the long weekend and another drive. But easy weekend once I'm there. I think I'll stay home in February! I'm really trying to get my life balanced again. I'm going to restart Jillian, eat red meat regularly, and things like that. Go swimming sometime.

Contentment

A facebook friend who openly struggles with being single and having no children made a really helpful facebook post.

Why are some people content with life and with themselves when others aren't?

How is contentment fulfilled?

How do you know when a person is content?

I was so excited that she was thinking on that level. There were lots of comments with the sort of general things that people say.

…if your looking for contentment outside yourself then you'll never find it. . Its like love. . No one will love you untill you love yourself.

...being hapy with what you have,. 

These just don't resonate with me at all. I mean they are true to some extent, but they are about the end result, not the tangible things that you do that set you apart and change how you feel. For me, it's been deliberately recognising traps for discontentment and taking action. So I made 2 comments.

Such a good question. I count my blessings, like family, having a safe place to live, a job. I plan fun things to look forward to instead of assuming other people are having all the fun. I think of it as positive selfishness, or at least self care. Then I don't pity myself as much, and am more content. I get discontent when I feel left out or left behind. Hope that is practical.

I buy myself flowers. This sums up everything.

So discontentment for me is tied into FOMO, fear of missing out. Flowers are a good example. I could keep being gloomy that nobody every bought me flowers on Valentines Day, or I can analyse that. Guess what: It doesn't mean I can't have flowers. I can buy myself flowers whenever I want (and I do). I can be given flowers by my friends (and I have). I can buy flowers for others (and I have). I do THOSE things, and then the one thing that I feel self-pity about once a year has a lot less power. I'm not missing out on the flowers.

It looks a little bit indulgent I suppose to buy myself flowers, but at $5-15 per bunch every few weeks it costs me less than a coffee habit, and also why is it more wasteful or superfluous for me to buy myself flowers than if your husband buys you flowers? Romantic flowers are no more necessary than self-care flowers. That's great that other people have wedding anniversaries they celebrate with flowers. I have things in my life that I want to celebrate. Another thing, if you're married and you wish your husband bought you flowers but he's not into that stuff, you can also buy yourself flowers. We feel like society has a rule that flowers are a thing that go from men to women, but actually there is no rule.

Home grown tea drinks.

My tea pot plants are living! They are doing quite OK on the windowsill with only morning sun. I bought some slow release fertiliser which has helped I think.  I occasionally harvest a cup of tea from one of them. This is mint tea.

Mid-week leave.

I took a day of leave on Wednesday. It was really nice! Sometimes a random day off feels like a waste, I don't relax... I just feel like I'm not making the most of it. But I made the most of it! Went for a swim, had lunch with a friend, browsed a second hand book shop that's closing down, (bought the book Going Grey, which I want to pass on now I've finished it, holler if you want it), painted nails, had a lie down, sold a freezer on gumtree! I call that a win. Failed to get a massage because didn't want to go out in the rain, but read the new book instead.

Kangaroo Valley.

Walking group weekend away! I drove myself which is a luxury. Had a great drive, even with the M5 traffic (turns out the M5 is nothing to Kiama, as others found to their doom) and heavy rain as I drive down the valley wall past a fatal car accident. Stopped in Bowral each way.

Really hearty chicken ceaser salad from pizza shop in Bowral

Did the token bushwalk (Fitzroy Falls, very easy), but other popular activities included napping, reading, watching Iron Man, playing Rapidough, and kayaking. I drove to Nowra for church with friends on Sunday morning.

There were some unexpected joys. A newborn calf on Saturday morning.

Wombats.

Wombat POO!!!!!

Our farm in early morning fog.

Mad jobs Monday.

Still doing it. On Monday I turned the TV off, made a cup of tea in my nice teacup and saucers, got the song list and and my bible, and picked all the songs for church up til Easter. It took over an hour. 3 cups of tea and 2 pfeffernüsse. It will be another Monday job to enter them into the roster system we use.

Shoes!

New orthotics means time to buy new shoes that fit them in. Also that have a strong sole. Lesson: a shoe should only bend where the foot bends, like an L, not like a C. The world is full of shoes that are useless to me.

I tried one shop in the city and they had nothing that fit me. On Sunday I went to Ziera, also in the city, and they were having a sale! The lady was super helpful and got out lots of shoes for me. Also measured my foot like in the olden days, and I'm a 39.5. That's pretty specific. I bought a pair of camel-coloured mary janes, to be my everyday shoes. I loved the red ones but red shoes and a yellow handbag is a bit too Jess Day for me.

I joined the Ziera club where you get $20 every $400 spent. Which is about the 2nd or 3rd pair of shoes. I'm a big fan now. Ziera is my new Colorado. More expensive but removable inner soles. And you can return them within a month.

The only downside is, getting rid of my old shoes. My beloved white and orange Colorados. They are so comfortable. The soles are almost see-through though. I need to throw them away and not even keep them "for the beach", otherwise I'll keep wearing them instead of the Ziera ones. But I have this photo of happy shoe times.

Farewell, trusty shoes. Your loyal service will never be forgotten.

NY!

Me and 3 friends camped on Cockatoo Island. It's tiring, but the island is quite interesting, you can just walk anywhere, through industrial bits and tunnels and stuff. We put up a tent (using a rock as a hammer like Bear Grylls would do) and then mainly just lay around eating, cross stitching, dozing, waiting for the fireworks.

photo by bec

Did take excursions to variously explore or swim or have a picnic, but mainly resting. Tents are exhausting. There was a big firework barge in front of the island and then the bridge fireworks were small off in the background, but it actually was a nice effect having close and far fireworks, very 3D.

photo by bec

The seagulls though. They don't sleep. As Bec said on twitter, "All day and night, the hellions screech."

We packed up pretty efficiently, caught a ferry back to CQ, then JK and I had only a 2 min wait for our bus! And I say OUR bus because we only shared it with the driver and 1 passenger. I bought a steak at Coles on my way home because I'm giving blood, and it was a fancy one for 40% off. I didn't actually catch up on sleep during the day, I washed my doona, watched Sherlock and Hart of Dixie, then went swimming with flatmate and her friend. We watched Pitch Perfect then I went to bed early and forgot that Jonathan Creek was on.

The Secret.

I would be hopeless at poker. But I managed to keep a secret apart from my parents, flatmate, Elsie, Anna, and one sister. That counts as a total secret in my books. I was burning to tell other people but I was able to just tell the same people over and over again to relieve myself.

Today at 9.30:

Today at 11.30:

For real!

My teeth still have their original character, they aren't perfect teeth, they still carry the shape of my clumsy childhood and a discoloured veneer (I fell over a lot and did weird things to my baby teeth and developing adult teeth). But they are straighter. They seem somehow BIG without braces. They feel normal though. I'm keeping the news off facebook because I want the surprise reveal to carry over to different situations. A lot of people have known me for fewer than 4 years so only know me with braces.

I'm eating my first uncut apple right now.

I get a free photo shoot!

Random update.

 Feel like I want to blog, but haven't got anything remarkable to say! My new cardigan came this week from woolovers.com. It's long, black, merino. Not as soft as my other merino cardigans. Useful to have a long black cardigan though. Wearing it over a black and white stripy dress today. With a bright pink nail from the library of Elsie. And that's a braces face.

I have to say that I don't think wearing a lot of black, or black and white things, is really me. I normally use grey as a base for bright colours. But everyone wears black in the city. It's just work clothes. I think of black as a uniform.

Did some market research survey online for money, about study. Over 3 days. I thought it would be an interactive forum with other people but it was just with one moderator, so it was private. First time doing paid market research.

Made a dentist appointment and a podiatrist appointment. Sore foot, so maybe I need new orthotics. Getting stuff done before the end of the year! bam bam bam. Have also been looking at private heath insurance options, registered as an organ donor, and need to renew my driver's licence. Getting stuff done! Nobody thinks about doing things this late in the year, everyone's distracted. It's actually not very hard to get appointments and things. It's kinda quiet. I remember doing this last year, having a final burst of productivity and sneakily getting a lot of stuff done.

Because of sore foot, have switched back to No More Trouble Zones, because it is low impact, but it's longer, so I feel congratulations are in order for getting myself back up to an hour session of Jillian after only one week.

Working on converting all the women in the world to use BB cream.

Doing some Christmas shopping, bit by bit.

Spending time with old people! This is lovely. I go to the movies with old people now. We have the same taste in movies. Tomorrow I'm seeing One Chance.

Circle of 5ths.

I had a very full week. So on Sunday I stayed in bed awhile, then did Jillian, then watched Doctor Who, then made shortbread for the first time, then went to piano-teaching and music practice and church.

It was my second week as a piano teacher again. I'm the girl's second teacher, there is some good foundation work done by the first teacher. She checks the time signature and counts herself in to every song. She doesn't practice much though. I drew a table for her to tick the days she practices this week. I think I'll have a sticker system to reward practice.

Best thing was, I taught her her first scale, C major, right hand, one octave up and back, which she liked, and then I explained the circle of 5ths, which made her eyes just light up! I didn't learn that until high school, but young kids will really grasp onto concepts like that, it's a simple pattern so it makes sense. And making sense of things is important. I'm going to teach her scales in order of the circle of 5ths and she'll always be able to remember that and have a big head start on key signatures.

Back to the shortbread. I used less butter than the recipe and also used glutinous rice flour instead of normal rice flour. It worked. Mainly I need to work on rolling it out not too thin. It's very delicious though.

Lemongrass

My herbs are alive! And although the mint is dying off a little and growing back, the lemongrass has done nothing but grow.

Coast walk, sculptures.

Lots of walking this weekend. Walked to Coogee, met my walking friends, we walked to Bondi. Here are some photos because sculptures by the sea was on.

Ate our lunches along the way, and the 4 who made it to the end got ice creams. We caught the 362 bus back to Coogee. It's a weekend only bus from Bondi to Coogee, very handy. Then I walked home. Did some stretching. So much walking. I wore my hat, it was good.

More walking on Sunday, for the maroubra fun run. Watched The Fellowship of the Ring in the afternoon so that I could watch people walking across Middle Earth. Surprising how many lines I still know off by heart. "Eight there are here yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him." I also ate many lollies I bought at the fun run. And defrosted the freezer. Then church. 

Today I am tired. Must have walked 12km or so over the weekend.

Away.

I can't leave that hideous puffy eye photo up any longer. My eyes look a lot better now. I've had a super busy week in many ways. I've been thinking about my future and have put things in God's hands in a proactive but calm sort of way. I've ticked off a massive to-do list of work and personal jobs. I did my first ever dry-cleaning! Which I still haven't collected. I printed photos, which has made me very happy. I paid 5 cents extra per print for a white border, which is worth it because I'm not going to frame them, I'm going to stick them up with reusable sticky tabs, so they'll look semi-framed for very cheap. Photos to come later.

I'm off to Armidale in a little plane tomorrow!

The holiday highlight of my year, along with going to WA. Here are some pleasant memories of last year to make this blog more attractive. I'll be redoing these things.

Home weekend!

This would be a brilliant weekend to wash the winter woolies and put them away. But it might rain. So they'll probably stay in a big pile. I'm going to a Mad Hatter afternoon tea on Saturday, which I am not going to dress up for, although I could probably wear my normal clothes and look reasonably costumed actually. Fail for effort but win for effect, then. Also I'm not going to take any food because I'm not organised enough and also these things are always supremely over-catered for. Because each person brings enough for 7 but eats enough for 1, so there is 7 times as much food as people need. I'm going to help out by eating.

Right now I am waiting to meet E, and we're going to have a quick look at the spring flowers display in DJs which is esp nice this year apparently, and then meet G for dinner and swap nail polishes. It's a frugal way to enlarge your nail polish collection. I call it the nail polish library. Cos after one use, you want a new colour. This way I don't have to buy a bright coral that I'll only use once, I can just borrow one for a few weeks, and other library members can borrow the bright red I'm bored of. I've stuck stickers on all mine so I can get them back eventually. What fun Friday frolics we do have, us city girls! I am so excited.

Bathurst: Part 2.

 On Sunday I did jillian and then went "up the street" with grandma. At the chemist I scored an amazing bounty! Burt's Bees was 20% off so I got a lip balm and a cuticle cream. Then I noticed it also came with a free gift. The girl forgot to take the discount off the cuticle cream but the free gift made up for that cos I got a second small cuticle cream, two hand creams, foot cream, and face scrub. I kept saying "really? are you sure I get all of these?!" All small sample sizes but not to be sneezed at!

 Dad's cousin visited in the afternoon. It was really warm and sunny outside.

Grandma dropped me at the station on Monday morning at 5.30. The ticket machine only took coins, and I luckily had $8.40 but unluckily it was in too many coins and there is a limit where it cancels the ticket after too many coins so I had to trade a 50 cent from the boy behind me. There was a queue, it was one of those anxious idiot situations. There was a coffee cart there so I could have bought a drink if I needed more change, I realised later. I stepped from 2 degrees into a warm train, and settled in for a very comfortable trip through the foggy hills as the sun came up. There was fog and frost. I did some nice dozing. Got to work at 9.40.

It seemed kind of cruel to be catching the train through the mountains on such a sunny day. So lovely, but staying on the train and going to work.

Bathurst: Part 1.

So long train trips at night are very boring, because its like sitting next to a dark mirror for hours. But I've got lots of podcasts on my iPod and I curled up in scarves. The man behind was an annoying people-person, oversharing to the lady behind him. At 8pm the train stopped in nowhere cos an engine died so he alternatingly complained and played his guitar. The guitar was quite nice.

We were totally broken down for 25 minutes but they got it going again. Everyone clapped. Train got in at 10.05.

I walked in the morning to find some markets, but there were none. I did browse through old stuff for auction so that was nice. Since I didn't want to buy anything anyway.

This is the showground pavilion where the auction stuff was.

I did some useful shopping in town. Walked through the park and took photos of ducks.
Ducks with curly tails.

I went into the old Bathurst hall which  is a liquidation store now. But you can tell there is a ballroom. It's quite interesting. Grandma and grandpa met at a dance there. Fancy. What a terrible shame nobody dances anymore. It would also make quite a good church. There's the main ballroom and lots of side rooms and some upstairs rooms.

I brought Crawford DVD with me and we put it on in the afternoon, grandma really enjoyed it.