Resty things.

These are some really nice chicken and chorizo meatballs that R gave me. I ate them for lunch at work. So wonderful to have friends!

I continued to vary between flat and miserable last week, I felt very physically tired, had a breakout of coldsores, and just couldn’t make it to the end of the week. I took a couple of hours off on Tuesday afternoon, which I spent in a cafe with a sunny courtyard and lemon tart and The Cross of Christ. That was excellent. I also raked leaves, which is the winter version of mowing. Didn’t go to home group and felt so bad about that I cried. Housemate was lovely and hugged me.

 

I put some strategies in place to help me get through the week, and then get back to normal.

First: vitamins. Lysine for cold sores, Vitamin B for stress, as well as eating garlic.

Second: Control thoughts. Whenever I started thinking about something negative and digging myself into a pit of pity, I went to Pinterest and looked at recipes for tarts. Or read an article about Marie Kondo tidying up.

Third: I did a bit of tidying up. This was pretty calming. I tidied up random things like the big meeting table at work.

Finally: Rest. I was crying again on Thursday night and I decided I should just take Friday off and have 3 solid days of rest. Uggboot days. All I did was cook (a tart and a soup), tidy up my dressing table, hang out in the back yard getting vitamin D and listened to North and South from Audible, and go back to the cafe to read the book again.

Dressing table before and after. Used Kondo techniques: thinking about which things spark joy, thanking the junk before I threw it out, putting things in containers.

 This portuguese tart was chewy.

Over the weekend I spent a lot of time lying on a picnic blanket in the backyard. I admired my peas, this pot of mint which is an object that sparks joy, and the sheets on the line.

Going back to work on Monday onwards was so much better. Thought about crying at one point but didn’t. Thought of a roster I could remove myself from, thought of a better way to balance music ministry and said no to something I was asked to organise with that, basically I will try and maintain a 1 in 1 out thing with church from now on. I’ve just been added to more rosters and not taken off any. You’ve got to be in charge of your own Nos, really. It’s good to be asked to do something new, I wouldn’t want to be left out of opportunities, but that means it’s my responsibility to decide what not to do.

Anyway on reflection I think most of my depression has been tiredness. It's reinforced how much rest I need. I'm not the sort that can have something on every Saturday and Sunday, even if they are fun things.