Obsessions.

Life is quiet, so I've got nothing to blog but my ponderings.

Something I just realised, I haven't been buying freddos all year. I used to regularly buy bags of Freddos to keep in my desk drawer at work. so that I could eat one after lunch with a cup of tea. Boring lunch but a tasty dessert afterwards. I broke the lunchtime chocolate habit over the summer holidays and decided to not buy any more drawer chocokate, but just buy a fundraiser if I really wanted something. So in the end, I've eaten a lot less chocolate this year and saved money. That's something I can be quite proud of, desk chocolate has been a long term habit.

Current obsession: how to eat better for my gut for my skin. Gut friendly diets are the current thing, and I'm jumping on board with that. Hoping that my itchy skin will improve if I have happier gut bacteria. I have to say, I've had a small win this year with skin, a colleague suggested Chickweed ointment for the itchy fingers, and I got it (after failing many a recommended natural remedy such as moo goo or beeswax based creams) and blow me down, it's pretty good. It is dark and smelly, but it sooths the itch as well as steroid cream does. I've been using it since the end of April. It's not a cure, no cream is a cure, but it is effective and soothing the itch.

Anyway, I've been leaning my diet in a healthy direction this year. I heard a guy on the ABC talking about gut health and saying the mediterranean diet is the best place to start, lots of vegetables, good oils, avoid processed foods, cut down on meat. That sounded doable. I think it is a well-balanced diet. I'm not super strict about it, but it's the baseline anyway. The next step is, decrease sugar and try some of those fermented foods that good bacteria love. unsweetened yoghurt, kimchi, etc. I'm not sure how I'll incorporate those regularly, they sound weird. But that's my next step.

I'm on a bit of a campaign to minimalise some stuff around the house. The new rule is, NO SPARES! No spare stuff. The only time you need a spare is if being without would ruin your day. So spare tire, good. Spare key. Yes. Spare toilet paper, yes yes yes yes. But spare sunscreen, spare food, no. I'm on a mission to work through the redundant contents of my pantry, freezer and bathroom cupboards. I actually use very few things week to week. It's just the assumption that I buy things for the future instead of for this week.

I was obsessed with online clothes browsing, but I didn't buy anything. Swapping winter clothes away for summer clothes under the bed helped, feels like new wardrobe, even though I haven't worn them. Got enough clothes. NO SPARES applicable.

There is more daylight so I feel like there is time to breathe in the day. There are a lot of things that feel better in natural light. Garden things, reading, housework.

I bought an audiobook called Work Clean, about how chefs are really organised and good at planning and achieving. I haven't got that far in. A common theme of all organisational management methods I've heard about is to make your day to day tasks feed your big goal. Work is more satisfying if you aren't just being busy, but working towards something and marking off progress. I think one useful thing I've absorbed from this book is your actions are easier if your environment is well planned. It's something I'm becoming more aware of. I've come up with an ingenious basket for my laptop charger and backup that hangs off the bottom of the table, so it's neither cluttering the table nor inconveniently put away. Win! So like, if something is annoying, just fix it. My iCal was annoying because I usually want to add things to my personal calendar but the default was adding things to my work calendar. I finally fixed that.

I wonder if I'm becoming too independent. My life is really good, and I don't really need anybody else. At the moment I am quite dismissive of marriage, and even friendships are a mixed blessing. I do pretty well on my own. Is that good or sad, I don't know.

Martha and Mary thoughts.

First, some excellent wisdom from a friend today. I've had a few clashes with different people, which on the bright side I think I'm getting a tougher skin, but it's a bit demoralising when generally I think I try very hard to be there for people, be reliable, do what I'm asked to do. Turns out I've even probably offended someone at work by giving them advice about how to print something. That one I'm not worried about, my professional advice is valid, but I guess it's always possible to be more tactful. So anyway, here is the wisdom I place here for myself to see in the future.

1. Acknowledge what the other person has said
2. Refrain from giving an opinion unless they want it or you think necessary or you want to create discussion
3. If giving it, give in a gentle manner, or phrase it so that it shows your concern etc etc

Hmmm, now thinking about this more. Most people don't care what we think, unless they specifically ask us.

I had an accumulated tiredness or worry or something, so many things on, full weekends, no space to think for a month or two, getting anxious about what to do with upcoming events (do I go to a wedding in Brisbane? When will I visit Heather? When will I go to Mudgee this year? I have so many people to text about things!) and I decided I just need some space. If I get some space and calm down it's easier to confront things.

I had a sudden thought at home group and went home and deleted the Twitter app off my phone. The reason I got a smartphone and got twitter was when I left Sydney I knew it would be a great way to keep in touch with Sydney friends. And it has been. But I don't really have time to check it, and I think the usefulness in that support has decreased. I'm keeping the account so I can check on my computer at home and at work, and keep tweeting @whatpercydoes, but deleting the app off my phone has been quite good, I haven't missed it and I've found it faster to get out of bed in the morning instead of reading articles in my twitter stream.

Then I took Wednesday off work. Middle of the week is a great time to have a day off because it makes the beginning and the end shorter and more bearable! First of all, I didn't sleep in. I got up and went to a cafe for breakfast and read a chapter of Disciplines of a Godly Woman. That was a good start because it mentioned Martha and hit the nail on the head. So many things! Getting anxious! Jesus says ONLY ONE THING IS NEEDED. We need to challenge each other about this. It's hard to be wise about because of all the good things you have to sift through and sometimes say no to, to have time for the one thing. Relationships, acts of service, etc.

So anyway, I had my breakfast out, and then I BLASTED a whole lot of life admin by just pottering around! I had a locksmith over, dealt with my mortgage (had to choose a new fixed rate term), received a delivery of wine (JK and I joined a wine club at the food and wine expo), planted cherry tomatoes, did cello practice, wrote a few emails, baked cookies, took my spare TV to the tip, went to the movies and say Love and Friendship, got a hot chocolate, watched a bit of Netflix, did Jillian, watched Bachelor, went to bed early. I guess I did a lot, but I also didn't do a bunch of other things and that's OK. It was an energising day.

I find landfill sad. I like decluttering but the thought of my beloved old bag or trousers being dumped in a pile and buried is really sad. Confronting. A good thing to remember when I'm obsessed with a new bag, which I am. My main soothing pastime now is to watch TV while browsing online stores for yellow clothes. I don't know what that says about me.

These two trees in Raytay are the marriage trees, where people got married before there was a church in the town.

Had a home group girls night at my place, decorating pizza and painting our nails and talking, and hearing about CAP money.

I had a very empty weekend and Saturday was sunny and windy so I basically washed load after load of clothes and bedding. Nice to open the house up and get rid of some winter dust. The house isn't clean enough for my liking, that's another thing that's weighing me down. But I'm busy living and it's not so bad that I can't have people over. I would just feel better, in my mind, if it was cleaner and tidy.

Went to a church blues night at a bowlo. I wasn't going to go because of the whole 'it's too hard to organise people to go with me' thing. I tried to get people to come with me to a music thing a few weeks ago and it was disappointing. I can't be bothered trying at the moment. I've been to the movies twice by myself in one week and that was great. I'm OK not going to things. But, I went because I got a lift with Maddie's mum and her friends, and I hung out with Maddie there which was actually really nice. We shared a huge bowl of wedges, and got up and danced like crazy people for one song.

On Sunday, I worked on my personal project, a Regency Dress. The time has come! I have some worn out sheets so the top sheet has plenty of wear in it for a dress. This is about halfway, I think. I need help fitting it, and when it fits I'll dye it and add a ribbon sash. I may wear it to a birthday party where the theme is mid-life crisis. I can't think of anything good, and Austen is often my escape from life.

And so that's all. I'm going pretty well in a lot of ways. I'm content in my singleness, I am still enjoying my job, I love my home. I'm mainly trying to figure out where I can cut back and how I can have a better time praying and reading.